Two Little Blessings!

It is funny when I mention to people that my sister “has infertility problems.”  If they know my sister they know that she is more pregnant these last few years than not!  Erin has issues GETTING pregnant, not being pregnant and that is why she has infertility problems.  So this little sister of mine, does what she does best….she tackled the SHIT out of being infertile and she just delivered 2 BEAUTIFULLY PERFECT twin babies!  So now that is 4 boys, under 4 in her house!

 

Congrats little Sister and Thank You once again for perfect little nephews.

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Trip to California

Luckily, I was able to go to my cousin Kevin’s wedding in California at the beginning of the month. And if a trip with 2/3’s of my siblings and booze and beaches isn’t blog worthy, then I don’t know what is!
Of course, nothing is easy for me trying to juggle all of the things that I do and two days before we were set to leave, I ended up with an ingrown toenail (totally f’ing with my planned pedi!) and had to get a horrific procedure on it, leaving me limping! If you have not had a portion of your toe removed before, you don’t want to. Trust me.
Anyways, after a very interesting airport wait, because my older brother, Mike was hammered at the airport and was using an Irish accent to speak to people at 8:30a.m. we were off to Sunny California!

The hotel that we stayed at was gorgeous and we were greeted with the cutest goodie bags that Kevin and Korbi had put together for the out-of-towners!  It had candy from Chicago, candy from Michigan (Korbi’s home) and a cute packet with all the information that we would need while in Santa Monica. (what it didn’t have was a warning that said not to buy alcohol from a seedy little liquor store, that an even seedier taxi driver took us to…one small bottle of cheap vodka, $30 and one container of OJ $6)

Shortly after we were at the hotel, we headed to the beach, Muscle Beach to be exact.

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Apparently, we were in California on one of the hottest, most humid weekends of the summer and we felt it!  We walked for hours just a few short blocks from our hotel room and were at Santa Monica Beach and it was beautiful!

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It looks like the Jersey Shore doesn’t it?  The roller coaster and ferris wheel are much smaller as we walk closer.  We had a great lunch at Rusty’s Surf Ranch and I especially enjoyed not getting interrupted or having a drink spilled in my nether-regions.  After lunch we went back for a little nap before the big party that night.

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My cousin Donnie’s band was playing in an Irish Pub and they rocked that place.  They sang some great songs, as the night went on more of my family showed up and it was so heartwarming to be enjoying the festivities in California with my extended family.  We sure like to drink!  I bet that the bar was awfully grateful that the Biggins’s were in town!

Before the show ended, Jay Jay (little brother) went for  a little tour of the strip and decided that we were in Santa Monica and he was not GOING HOME YET.  So like any good, older sister would, I listened to him and we stopped at a hip hop club for a few minutes before the LONGEST CAB RIDE EVER!  (No one was throwing up, but the A/C was not working, we were stuck in a drive thru for about 25 minutes and Jay was soo drunk!)

The next morning Jay and I explored a little bit of Santa Monica and got ready for the wedding!  I was lucky enough to get a picture of their KISS!

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Sunday was spent packing, reflecting on how short but so perfect the trip was and heading to the airport.  We basically laughed the whole trip, wined and dined togather and it was nothing short of amazing.  It reminded me (for a few short days) how nice it is to just be me, not Mommy, but Jeralyn.  That was the best thing about the whole trip I think.  I was able to take care of my needs (like showering every day) and made decisions with myself in mind.

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It was just what I needed!

Reflecting a bit

This shit is gonna get deep.  You have been warned.

Today I am reflecting on some of the relationships in my life.  Some are toxic.  Some are heaven-sent.  But nonetheless, they are all important.  They have helped mold me into who I am and how I interact with people and situations.  Thankfully, there have only been a few relationships that I feel truly burned by and although they are out of sight (mostly) out of mind, they surface every once in a while.  I feel like I am pretty honest with myself except maybe when I convince myself that I should eat another cookie, ha,  and that when I finally convinced myself that these “friends” werent friends at all, I had to let them go.  Eh, being honest, two friends in particular.  One friend was all wrong from the start, first impression was sketchy, we had ALMOST nothing in common and I allowed her to bully me all the time.  I have a real problem with letting people down and that is where she would get me.  I would know that I didn’t have time to hang out or to talk on the phone/answer texts all day long and she would guilt trip me constantly about how I was not giving her enough attention.   Then there was the fatal flaw.  Dating my brother!  That was torture.  I mean, did she want to bang my brother or be my friend, cause clearly, she was not capable of both.  Ugh!  Even typing about this YEARS LATER still boils my blood a little and I can’t say if it because she hurt my feelings or if it was because it was one of the only friendships that I severed and it was extremely difficult.

The other one was never a friend.  She was a gossipy, backstabbing, using asshole.  She said things that I wouldn’t expect to come from an enemy.  I don’t miss her.  I pity her.  I pity her pathetic life and all of her judgement that she passes on people.  She lost out on some great relationships because of her need to tear people friends down.

Now on to one of the great ones.

I think that my visit with Christina today is what prompted this blog….I spend five minutes with her and my heart is light and I am smiling and feeling whole.  This has not changed in 20 years.  20 years ago she was the girl from across the alley that I went to school with that I had no clue would turn into such an important person in my life.    I had no idea  that she would turn out to be one of the great ones.  Christina can see me at my worst (and has many times) and I know that she hurts just as bad as me.  We have a bond that is special and one that I hope our girls can share one day.  Christina is the funniest, kindest, selfless friend that I have.  She would do anything for me and I am so incredibly content in our relationship.  She is my drunk text and the friend that I miss the most.  I know that Christina will be my friend when I am old, gray and weak and as long as I have her, it doesn’t sound so bad.

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If only my Daughters can love me as much as I love my Mommy

IMG_9055There is not a day that goes by that I do not talk to my Mother.  She is MY very best friend.  She is my number one fan and she validates me when I am irrational and need someone to agree with my crazy thoughts.  These little tips were shared on social media today and reading through them reminded me about who I want to be as a Mother to two little girls and it also reminded me how wonderful my Mom has always been.

25 RULES FOR MOTHERS OF DAUGHTERS

1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her …to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.

2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.

3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet mr. right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

4. Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.

5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heals, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.

6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that woman can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.

7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.

8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

9. Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her to successful woman- friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential woman- Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman- Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.

10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.

11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.

12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.

14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.

15. Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.

16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.

17. Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her.

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy’s feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.

19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be her friend too.

20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

21. Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat – let her know she does not have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect – she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the better person.

22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words; she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.

23. Mother her. Being a mother – to her – is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother’s love for their children.

24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets – no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her…she may just whisper, “I need my mommy.”

25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you; welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news; embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you; find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit; tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor – where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile; be home.